not sure how many people are on xanga anymore but I think I'm going to try to still write here once in a while. 

This past summer was a pretty good summer.  For one thing, we rarely have a family vacation other than visiting our families either in Winnipeg or Germany.  So that was pretty cool.  We had two weeks away.  The first week was spent at Frontier Lodge ( http://www.frontierlodge.ca ) where my hubby's cousin works.  The cousin's siblings came for a family reunion so we decided to go and crash the party.  I had expected a wonderful, relaxing time but uh,uh.  It's a WILDERNESS camp!  ugh!  That means a lot of physically taxing stuff.  And Josh's cousin had a full schedule planned.  The very first night came my first adventure.  We had only been there a couple of hours when he announced that we were all going for a walk around the lake.  Well, I didn't think that was a big deal but um...well...it was.  It took me double the time that it took everybody else and by the time I got back to the camp, I was WASTED!  I could barely move.  Ugh!  Then I found out that there was a trip planned the following morning.  We were all going to traverse up Hoodoo Creek.

Continuation:

OK.  Let's see...the plan was to go for a hike up Hoodoo Creek.  This is pretty much an uphill climb going over boulders and rocks. 

After we finished the walk we all hung out at Josh's cousin's trailer.  After we all dispersed and went to our own cabins, my dear hubby tells me that he thinks it would be better if I not go along on the next day's excursion.  You see, his female cousin had been walking with me around the lake and she got back to the trailer a bit before me and she had made a comment that it was the slowest walk she had ever been on in her life.  Josh automatically assumed that she was making a comment about me and how very slow I am and so he felt bad for her (oh, poor baby - having to walk slow must have been such a horrible hardship!)  And so that nobody else would have to endure such a torture, he figured it would be best for everyone if I just stayed back at the camp and sat it out.  I cannot tell you hurt I was by this.  I stewed and stewed about it all night and while sweet hubby was snoring peacefully, I didn't sleep hardly a wink that night.  By the time morning arrived, I was ready to deck him!  You see, what he hadn't realized is that his female cousin was not only walking with me but also with her 9 year old daughter, who incidentally had to stop many times along the way to look at a fallen log, to rest on a bench, to go wee-wee in the bushes, etc, etc.  So I nailed him with this fact and told him that I didn't care if he or anyone else did not want me along, I WAS GOING!!!  He assured me that he hadn't meant anything hurtful by it, blah, blah, blah...  Whatever. 

So we all went on the hike and I and my youngest girl fell back and just did a slow hike.  She had really bad blisters and was in quite a bit of pain so she only lasted about an hour and so we turned back and rested in the car while we waited for everybody else to come back.  I was really glad I had gone because it was absolutely beautiful up there.  And although I maybe didn't keep up with the pack, I still think I did fairly well.  For a fat woman!    Here's some more pics of the day:

 Well, the feelings that came from that encounter with Josh pretty much stayed with me during most of our time at Frontier Lodge.  I felt like someone who was holding everybody back.  I felt like all his cousins were looking down at me and thinking "what a tub of lard!  Why is she even here?"  I regretted going there all together.  I just didn't belong with all these skinny, ultra athletic german people!  What really burned me up was that my husband, who had been living the same lifestyle as me (overindulging in food and very little physical activity) and had gained lots of weight just like me, was able to do all the things everybody else could do with very little problem at all!  And I felt like he was looking down on me too!  And no matter how much he assured me that it wasn't true, I just couldn't shake that feeling.  It was pretty awful.  So much for nice, relaxing holiday! 

Well, anyway, the same evening as the Hoodoo Creek excursion, the next adventure took place.  Mountain biking on an "easy" trail.  OH FUN!!!  Well, this is one thing that I absolutely could not do.  It was just not even possible.  So I did stay back but at least I wasn't the only one.  One other person stayed back with me and the youngest kids who were too small for the mountain bikes.  But my hubby and girls went and let me tell you, this was no easy trail!  My oldest daughter ended up taking a bad spill over the handle bars!  Nice.  Thankfully, she landed in a bed of moss and was OK.  But Josh's cousin's wife,who is my dear friend, came back from that excursion and said they all were crazy.  She was quite upset that they were taken on such an adventure on the same day as a big hike and that it wasn't at all an easy trail.  I felt a little better that somebody else felt that way - and she's not even overweight like me - she works out every day and is a skinny little thing.  So after that I felt like it wasn't just me.  This was truly a crazy week.

The next day was more of a low-key day as most of the gear for the activities was being taken up by the summer campers.  So we did some more relaxing stuff, thank goodness.  I especially enjoyed canoeing on the lake and seeing my first bald eagle in the wild:

I also had a really nice, long walk with my friend and was able to let out my feelings about everything and that helped a bit too.  She is a very sweet, loving friend and I am thankful that she was there.  I knew that at least one person wasn't looking down at me.  I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there.

More to come...